Category: Mental Health

‘Faking Normal’ – Courtney C. Stevens

To a certain extent we all fake normal, but for those living with extreme situations it can become ingrained. From the moment we meet Lexi we know she’s struggling with something, something she can’t yet put a name to, but the signs are there and from the things she reveals it’s clear it’s serious. But nobody around her sees it…or, if they are picking up on the clues, they’re not pushing to learn the truth.

As Lexi manoeuvres her way through school she’s maintaining good grades and things seem, superficially, fine. But nobody knows that she can’t sleep at night, hides in her closet and self-harms as a way of trying to get through the pain of her experience.

This could have been a book like countless others, but alongside Lexi’s story we have Bodee. He starts as a rather nondescript character, given the nickname the Kool Aid kid, and all we know is he’s coming to live with Lexi after an incident involving his parents. Over time we learn more, and he quickly becomes the more interesting of the two – though because it’s Lexi’s story we never go quite as deep into the character as we could have.

What was at the heart of this book though was the developing friendship between these two, and the way they supported each other to begin to take the steps needed to begin their healing process.

Little clues were dropped initially about the identity of Lexi’s attacker. I had my suspicions, and once this was confirmed then it does make a lot more sense of some of the stuff we’ve seen. As in reality, we don’t see the full resolution but it was nice to know she was on her way.

‘Last Lesson’ – James Goodhand

Ollie Moorcombe, pianist and star student, about to take his GCSEs and seemingly on the brink of great things. Yet Ollie seems to be hanging on by a thread. On his last day of school he arrives with a home-made pipe bomb in his bag…how did it ever get to this stage?

We cut between past and present as we learn a little more about Ollie. We learn about the bullying he has endured at the hands of his classmates. We learn about the relationship he has with his grandpa, who he lives with as his mum is receiving treatment for schizophrenia. We learn that he fears for his life as he receives daily threats from some of his more sadistic classmates. And we learn something of the catalyst for some of these events – the death of his Aunt Kaye in a car crash, which Ollie was also part of.

There’s no getting away from the fact that this is a tough read. Graphic accounts of sexual violence, the flashbacks to the car accident and the details about Ollie’s treatment do not make for a comfortable read. The subject matter of a planned school bombing is scary – and getting into the mindset of the person planning it doesn’t make it any easier.

While it was easy to see some of the signs surrounding Ollie’s behaviour as potential triggers, it doesn’t go anywhere near explaining fully why he plans what he does. The author ensures we feel some sympathy for Ollie, which makes what he’s planning even more chilling. Seeing the decline in his mindset/behaviour was worrying, and not least because someone should have seen things were not right and done more. I got cross at all the missed signs that could have minimised the damage caused, and it certainly examines the toxic culture surrounding boys and mental health issues. I also found myself increasingly unnerved by the voice of Ollie, which was – perhaps – the first indication that this seemingly straightforward story was a little more complex than we might have been led to believe.

This will not be a book for everyone, but I do feel it raises important questions. Thanks to NetGalley for allowing me to read this and offer my honest thoughts prior to publication.

 

‘Wonderland’ – Juno Dawson

Wonderland is a riot of hedonism, mental health issues and privileged people trying to keep their positions of power. It’s bonkers, and at times reads like we’re following someone on a bad trip. I felt myself pausing for breath at times to gauge whether people could ever be as awful as they are here…and I think they probably can.

In Wonderland Juno Dawson takes us on a journey with Alice, a transgender girl who becomes worried when a friend of hers (Bunny, no less) goes missing. At her exclusive school, nobody seems concerned. So when Alice finds an invitation to an exclusive weekend party she decides to attend in the hope that she can learn the truth of Bunny’s disappearance.

As we follow Alice through her Wonderland experience we have so many of the characters you’d expect – transported to their contemporary rich clique. Alice finds herself having a number of exciting new experiences, but there’s a clear dark undercurrent that threatens to consume her. The very real threat she is under is presented in an almost cruelly casual way. Someone wants Alice out of the way…but how far are they prepared to go?

When we learn of Alice’s mental health issues, knowing she is without her medication means I was never quite sure what was happening and what Alice was imagining. The ending brought a number of strands to a head, but didn’t really resolve much for Alice.

Thanks to NetGalley for allowing me to read this before publication.

 

‘And the Stars Were Burning Brightly’ – Danielle Jawando

 

Beautiful.

Set against a backdrop that many find less than pleasant, this story covers so many emotional highs and lows…and forces us to confront some pretty unpalatable truths about people.

Our main focus is Nathan, the younger brother of Al. Al was a straight A-grade student who killed himself. Nathan found him. Nathan is also having to come to terms with the guilt he feels over ignoring a call from his brother on the night he hung himself.

Alongside Nathan we have Megan, a friend of Al that few people knew about. They shared an Art class. They were close, but Megan didn’t feel able to go against her ‘cool’ friends and show Al that their friendship was important to her.

There’s no doubt this story just as I’ve recounted it would have made for a tough read. However, as Megan and Nathan become friends and start to unravel some of the mysteries surrounding Al’s last moments things move up a gear.

This book made me sad, so sad. It made me angry, unbelievably angry. But it also filled me with hope.

Thank you so much to Danielle Jawando for using her own personal situation to bring to life such a compelling read, and to NetGalley for letting me read it prior to publication (expected in March 2020).

 

‘We Are Not Okay’ – Natália Gomes

This story by Nataliá Gomes is of the moment, and it certainly delivers a clear message to teen readers.

We focus on four teenage girls: Lucy, Ulana, Trina and Sophia. Though they are all the same age, they have very different experiences and lives. However, each has a secret that they want nobody to know about, and they’ll do anything to ensure it stays secret.

Of the four girls I felt a lot of sympathy for Trina. She has a lot of people talking about her, and ends up in a situation over which she has no control. As a result she makes some difficult decisions which have pretty extreme consequences. Ulana faced a very real fear, but a lot of it seemed to be about her doubting herself and her family. Ultimately, things worked out okay (or at least looked as if they would). Sophia gets caught up in something that, increasingly, seems to be felt to be a normalised experience – and we see her just how damaging it can be. Lucy was the character I found it hardest to empathise with because so much of her story revolved around situations she had instigated. You don’t wish harm on anyone, and the way the others interacted with her did give a positive message eventually.

There was a lot happening here. It seemed as if most topical scenarios were explored here, and not all were given quite as much detail/exploration as they might have been. I felt one such incident (concerning Sophie) seemed to come out of nowhere and I had to reread a section wondering if I’d missed something.

Ultimately this was a book that made me very very relieved to not be a teenager of the social media generation, and determined to try to encourage people of this age to be as open as possible about their experiences. Everyone plays their part in this bullying culture, and the sooner we take responsibility for it the better.

Thanks to NetGalley and HQ Young Adult for allowing me access to this prior to publication.

 

‘How Not to Disappear’ – Claire Furniss

Our memories make us who we are. So, what does this mean when we start to lose our memories?

This story focuses on two characters-Hattie and Gloria. They have never met, but find each other at just the moment that each needs the other. Worlds apart in many ways, yet there are striking similarities between them.

This is a great coming-of-age story that also encourages its readers to empathise with the other characters encountered (even if from a distance).

Hattie is pregnant by her best friend, Reuben. He’s disappeared to France while her other friend, Kat, has gone to Scotland with a new girlfriend. When Hattie is contacted about an elderly relative in the grip of early onset dementia she decides to visit her.

What follows is a road trip with a difference as Hattie takes Gloria on a trip back through time.

Told with unflinching honesty this is a moving exploration of family, memories and learning to accept the decisions you make.

 

‘The Year I Didn’t Eat’ – Samuel Pollen

Max is a character you’ll feel for, but simply because his experiences sound exhausting.

When we first meet Max he’s struggling to deal with his illness. He gives it a name, Ana, and is acutely aware of the impact it has on his family. Max can’t pinpoint what started it, but he recognises that his constant calorie counting and obsessive attempts to control his food intake are destructive. He tries to go along with his counselling sessions, but that voice becomes stronger.

This was a sensitively told story, looking at some aspects of living with anorexia while also showing a teenage boy learning to develop friendships and live with some of the family issues that arise.

It’s hard to know how successful this is in conveying an experience which will, probably, be different for everyone but I did like the hopeful tone to it.

 

‘The Places I’ve Cried in Public’ – Holly Bourne

Not due out until October, when Holly Bourne tweeted regarding a rather well-known book store selling these beautiful green-edged versions – and sending them immediately…THREE WEEKS BEFORE PUBLICATION – I succumbed and ordered. I’m glad I did, but this was a book that nearly broke my heart.

Our narrator, Amelie, is a shy young lady forced to leave her best friends and boyfriend to move from Sheffield to the South (and I honestly couldn’t tell you where). She is, understandably, anxious about starting anew at college but she seems to make some new friends. Though she’s extremely self-conscious about performing, Amelie loves music and ends up winning a talent show. It as at this point that she finds herself the subject of attention from Reese.

Her new friend’s response is forthright. Many people in their college view him negatively, but Amelie is smitten. All too soon, she’s part of a couple and then we see the damage that others can inflict.

Even though alarm bells are ringing from the off, Amelie ignores them. Where others see aggressive selfish behaviour, Amelie sees honest emotional declarations. Seeing things from Amelie’s perspective had me feeling so angered on her behalf, but it also meant I felt nothing but sympathy for the situation she finds herself in.

I really liked the fact that this story is told after the fall-out, and we get to learn – in pieces – some of the truths of their relationship. It meant that we felt part of Amelie’s healing process, while also gaining details that shed light on how such a vivacious young girl could become so broken.

This is not an easy book to read. The subject matter is tough, and yet it’s such an important book. Once again Holly Bourne takes a highly emotional topic and explores, with sensitivity, that issue. Unflinching in its message, this is another book that I want to force on teen readers and get them thinking carefully about their interactions and the effect their behaviour can have on others.

‘Little Darlings’ – Melanie Goulding

Little Darlings is a curious read, and I don’t know whether to describe it as a psychological thriller or a paranormal mystery. It’s ambiguity leaves the reader rather nonplussed at the end, but it’s a read that forces you to keep going to try and puzzle it out.

Lauren Tranter has just given birth to twins. Sleep deprived, without a support network and full of doubt, she is struggling. While in hospital she thinks she hears a woman singing to twins. However, her children are the only twins in the hospital. Another night she believes the same woman has tried to abduct her twins. She locks herself in a hospital toilet and calls the police. There’s no evidence of anyone else having been in the hospital.

Eventually let home Lauren retreats into herself. She stays at home, full of doubt about her capabilities. Her husband is beyond rubbish – insisting on catching up on sleep during the day as the twins have kept him awake, and begrudging Lauren asking for a drink – and complains that she’s not taking control of stuff. Concerned for her welfare, or sulking because he actually isn’t the most important thing in her life? We’re not sure.

After a week or so, Lauren decides to try and get out for a walk. Things seem to be going well. Then she sits at a bench, falls asleep and wakes to find her babies missing. After a frantic police hunt the twins are found, by a woman who seems to have been having a relationship with Lauren’s husband, and Lauren is convinced her twins have been exchanged.

Interspersed with this narrative we have Harper, a member of the police who goes above and beyond to work out what’s happening. Her approach was unlikely, and yet it offers credence to the paranormal element of this story.

By the end there were signs that there was nothing mysterious about this at all. Lauren simply had a deeply immature and unpleasant husband, and she was mentally ill. The resolution of the narrative didn’t offer much hope, and left me feeling rather short-changed.

Thanks to NetGalley for letting me read this and offer my thoughts in exchange for an ARC.

‘Scars Like Wings’ – Erin Stewart

It’s not often I thank people for reducing me to tears. In this case, it’s thoroughly deserved. So, thank you to Erin Stewart via NetGalley for making me sniffle in public in a way I wasn’t expecting to.

I went into this story expecting it to be a very earnest read about how we treat survivors, expecting to find it all too much. What I got was a brutally honest exploration coming-of-age story that just happened to have a burns survivor as its main character.

Ava has not had it easy. Caught in a house fire a year before the book opens, she has had countless surgeries and has endured numerous grafts to help her recovery. She can just about bear to look in the mirror, but misses the fact that all anyone sees when they look at her is her scars. Having lost her parents and cousin in the fire, Ava now lives with her aunt and uncle. All of them are struggling to adjust to their new reality.

There’s a line quite late on in the book that is used on the cover. It reminds us that everyone has scars, some are just easier to see and that really sums up the message of this book for me. As teenagers the characters in this book are finding out who they are, feeling their way in life and trying to work out how to move on from their own individual shortcomings. Just some of them have more obvious barriers to this process.

I’m not a particular fan of musicals but the part these play in Ava’s development make perfect sense. It’s only a small thing, but having the courage to get up on stage and reclaim something she loved so much shows how much she’s moved on during the story.

The friendships in the book are crucial to its success. Ava and Ashad develop a bond that hints at more, but he sees her for who she is. Her friendship with fellow burns survivor Piper isn’t always positive, but its honesty was really encouraging. On occasion I was concerned it was rather mentally and emotionally unhealthy, but I don’t know how much of this was down to the situation these characters were in. There were plenty of ups and downs in their friendship, but they are good together.